A few weeks ago I came across this blog post here.
When I read it, I felt completely convicted.
I had been feeling like an inadequate blogger.
I couldn't stop thinking
about how I don't have time to post as much as I would like to,
or as much as other bloggers,
leave enough comments on the blogs I read,
get to build relationships with other bloggers,
or make new friends all over the country,
etc,
etc,
etc......
Then one day, my blog reading list was flooded
with posts about this girls trip that several VERY well known
bloggers went on. You know the one I'm talking about!
The trip you wish you could have been on...lol!
But, seriously.
You did wish that.
And so did I.
I was totally jealous!!!!
I immediately thought.....
"That looks like SO much fun!"
"I love Chicago!"
"These ladies seem like so much fun and I'd
love the opportunity to meet them!"
"I wish I had relationships with other teacher bloggers
like they have with each other."
"I wish I had time to comment and email bloggers
to form friendships like that."
"I wish I was in the "in" crowd."
"Do I have to sell a certain amount on TpT to
be in this group......or to get noticed by them?"
{they are all very successful in their blogs
and TpT stores.}
Then I read that post which included
a prayer written by Ann Voscamp.
As I was reading the prayer,
I had what a good friend of mine
would call a "spiritual spanking".
{btw, I find this term hilarious.}
Like a good smack in the head!
I was completely envious of the relationships these bloggers shared
and felt that I had to be as successful as them to ever
be a part of their group.
It wasn't even about the amount of followers......
I've never been one to dwell on that very much,
but I was looking at myself and all the "inadequacies"
I thought I had when it came to blogging and then I really
just kinda felt like a fool.
Even though I may not feel like I'm the perfect
blogger or teacher,
I realized I need keep my focus on the reason why I started this
blog over a year ago.
And that was to hopefully inspire and share with other teachers.
It't not about how many followers I have.
Or how many "hits" my blog gets.
Or how many comments are at the end of my posts.
Or how much I sell on TpT.
Or even how many new friends I make.
Or to get "noticed".
It's about sharing something I'm passionate about
and through that,
sharing a bigger passion of mine which is my
relationship with Jesus.
I just wanted to share this prayer tonight
because I think its a great reminder not to get carried
away with blogging.
Or give ourselves unrealistic expectations when it comes to our blogs.
We're all at different stages in life,
and right now as a wife and mom,
this is the best I can do and that has to be enough for ME.
Blogging is a really cool thing, but it can also become something
that its not supposed to be if you let it.
{sidebar: I just want to make it very clear that I LOVE the group of bloggers
I was referring to earlier and follow all of their blogs. I think they are
amazing people, even though I don't really "know" them, but they
seem very honest and genuine. They are amazing teachers and I've learned
a lot from them. In no way am I trying to say that their blessings
are not well deserved or that they shouldn't be sharing the exciting
and fun things going on in their lives. This post is about my own
personal struggle, not to condemn them in any way. :) }
..............................................................................................................
A Prayer for Bloggers
I am no longer my own blogger, but Yours.
Refine me with each post how You will, rank me how You will.
Put me to service, put me to suffering.
Let me be a follower — instead of seeking followers
Let me post for You — or be put aside for You,
Lifted high, only for You, or brought low, all for You.
Do with me and each post whatever You will, because You alone know best.
Let me not strive but submit
Let me not compete but care
Let me not desire hits but holiness
Let my blog be full of You, and let it be empty of me.
Let me crave all things of You, let me care nothing of this world.
Let my words be focus only on the greatest of audiences: You.
And You are enough.
May I write not for subscribers… but only for Your smile.
May my daily affirmation be in the surety of my atonement not the size of my audience.
May my identity be in the innumerable graces of Christ, never, God forbid, the numbers of my comments.
May the only words that matter in my life not be the ones I write on a screen — but the ones I live with my skin.
I freely and heartily yield every sentence, every title, every post,
every comment… or no comments… all to Your pleasure and perfect will.
My only fame is that I bear your name
My only glory is the gift of Your Grace
My only readership, Your eyes that seek to and fro to find
Make this so. Lord…
Yawhew, you alone are my God, not Google
Jesus, you alone are my Savior, not sitemeters
And Holy Spirit, you alone are my Comforter, not comments
So be it, today, yesterday, and every post to come.
O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
thou art mine, and I am thine.
This is my prayer I have made on earth, over thie keyboard…
let it be ratified in heaven.
In Jesus’ Name…. Amen.
--ann voscamp
